I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
