my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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