i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
