he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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