he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
