It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
