It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
