My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize