Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
