i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
