I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Someone signed my nipple.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
