Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
