Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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