I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The Olympian is in my bed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
