The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
