we have officially lost it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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