I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
