I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
