I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
