i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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