Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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