I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
