WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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