i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
