Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
