i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
