Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
