I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
