Sry I called you an 8
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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