his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
