haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
