More tranny stories later!
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
