I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize