hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
