We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
