you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
