Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
