all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
