Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
