There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
