Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
