is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
