Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
