fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize