It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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