I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
