he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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