It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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