So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
