1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
