That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
