This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You made out with two different species that night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
