holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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