How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
