I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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