He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
