tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
