are you still at the devil's house?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
